On Writing Personalized Vows



When it comes to a wedding, speeches are one thing that make people really nervous. If you're anything like me, I was very nervous to read something as personal as vows in front of a huge crowd at my wedding- especially because it's not really something that people walk around their house and rehearse for. Reading personalized vows can be nerve wracking for a few different reasons- one being you anticipate getting emotional and don't know if you'll be able to get through them, two being the fact that you're giving a personal speech in front of everyone in your life who you'd probably want to make a good impression on, and three being not knowing if you'll freeze up or forget your part. Whatever the reason for your nerves around writing and delivering your personalized vows, this mini blog should give you some great pointers to reduce some of that stress and write/deliver meaningful vows.


Here are some pointers:

  • Write them down! Even if you have your vows memorized, it is a great idea to have them written down just in case. If you think you might get too emotional to finish your vows, I suggest giving a copy of each of your vows to your officiant so that he/she may read them in that case.

  • Add a little humor if that's your style, but don't overdo it. Vows are meant to be sentimental. You want people to be cooing over them- not laughing the whole time. But a little laughter in between happy tears is always good. If humor is more your style, go for it!

  • Take notes. Vows are not as effective if you feel the need to write them all in one sitting. Your partner deserves thoughtful vows, and it's hard to just come up with them on the spot. One thing that helped me write my vows is that I had a note in my phone that I would add little thoughts to throughout the wedding planning process. By the time the wedding week came around, I had already put a lot of thoughts into the vows- all that was left to do was string the thoughts together into an eloquent and cohesive speech.

  • Don't forget to add thoughts on how wonderful your partner is, too (and why they deserve these vows).

  • If your vows are handwritten, make sure you give them to the photographer on the day of the wedding (along with stationary and other personal items) for detail shots.

  • If there are quirky or unique things about your relationship that your guests know about, capitalize on those.

  • Bring tissues! There will likely be lots of happy tears.

  • Speak up. Make sure you have a microphone so the guests can hear the vows too.

  • 2-5 minutes is perfect for length


Here is a great template:

  1. Start by addressing your partner

  2. Include a succinct version of your relationship story

  3. Add in some vows

  4. Ending statement about your love for your partner


Instead of saying "I vow to..." many times in a row, here are some alternatives to mix it up:

  • I promise

  • I will always

  • I strive to

  • I will

  • I pledge

  • I commit to

  • I guarantee

  • I swear

  • I give you my word

Hopefully this helps give you a good starting off point! Have your own tip on writing vows? Comment below!


Until next time,




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